Month: July 2009

Poetry,

July 12 – A guy’s evening prayer from Humorous Verses and Rhymes

Lord give me a deaf and blind nymphomaniac with a large bank account.
A business monopoly, a beautiful yacht, and hot
nymphomaniac friends. I know this doesn’t rhyme – but is not about rhymes.

Translation by Dcn. Jim

iStock_000007159506XSmall

Panie mój daj mi głuchoniemą nimfomankę z dużym kontem w banku.
Ma być właścicielką sklepu monopolowego i mieć własny jacht i napalone
koleżanki nimfomanki. Wiem że to się nie rymuje – ale tu nie o rym chodzi.

LifeStream

Daily Digest for July 11th

twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: Daily Digest for July 10th http://bit.ly/FvRjN [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: Polish Festival in Toledo, Ohio http://bit.ly/1dg4Im [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: July 11 – A woman’s evening prayer from Humorous Verses and Rhymes http://bit.ly/13jWYT [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: Going to Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, KFC, or Long John Silver’s? Support YUM Brands Workers http://bit.ly/V1VzP [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: Fourteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time (B) http://bit.ly/5IILv [#]
lastfm (feed #3)
Listened to 9 songs.
twitter (feed #4)
I’m working bingo tonight. Nice crowd. While waiting for the next winner I’m reviewing my homily for tomorrow. I’ll be at BVMC in Latham. [#]
twitter (feed #4)
Will be talking about Amos and witness to authoritative truth. [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: July 12 – A guy’s evening prayer from Humorous Verses and Rhymes http://bit.ly/M2nrJ [#]
Homilies

Fifteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time (B)

First reading: Amos 7:12-15
Psalm: Ps 85:9-14
Epistle: Ephesians 1:3-14
Gospel: Mark 6:7-13

In all wisdom and insight, he has made known to us
the mystery of his will in accord with his favor
that he set forth in him as a plan for the fullness of times

Who was Amos:

Today’s readings begin with a selection from the Book of Amos. Amos is in an argument with a priest at Bethel. He tells Amaziah: —I was a shepherd and a dresser of sycamores.—

Now that is a little misleading in English. When we picture shepherds and arborists we picture skilled workmen at best. Amos was more than a workman. He was likely a wealthy and educated owner of herds. This point-of-view is supported in that Amaziah accepted Amos as a prophet, Amos wrote in educated language, and because Amos had knowledge of the wider world, something a simple shepherd would not have. So first, let’s look at Amos as much closer to one of us, an educated, at least upper middle-class man.

Amos gets the call:

So we’re sitting at home one night doing the summery things we all do. We’re mowing the lawn, setting up the bar-b-que, playing catch with the kids, enjoying a cold one, going for a stroll and bang, God calls us.

Hey! you! Yeah, you with charcoal lighter and the Budweiser, you’re my prophet. Amos got that kind of call. Amos says:

The LORD took me from following the flock, and said to me,
Go, prophesy to my people Israel.”

This regular upper middle-class guy, in no way a professional prophet or a prophet in training got up and followed God’s call.

Just suppose again, that we got that call. Certainly, hearing God’s call we would put down the charcoal lighter, the matches, and the Bud and head out.

To do what:

What would we do? The interesting thing about the call is that it is a call. Amos didn’t get a lot of info, a dossier of things to say and do. All he got was the call.

Let’s think about Jonah for a moment. Jonah is one of those traditional prophets we immediately think of when we hear the work prophet. He received a call to prophesy, he received a message, travel instructions —“ the whole game plan. Except for the running away part he had all the traditional prophet stuff going on. He even had a message of doom. God told him (Jonah 1:2 and Jonah 3:4):

“Arise, go to Nineveh the great city and cry against it, for their wickedness has come up before Me.”

…and he cried, and said, Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown.

In Amos’ time professional prophets were a dime-a-dozen. They would proclaim oracles from God for profit, or attempt to divine the future for a fee. Most of these prophets only said what the people wanted to hear (Jeremiah 6:13-14).

Unfortunately, when we think of prophets we focus on that kind of foretelling, and usually foretelling doom like the alleged apparitions some people always talk about. People love the doom message and the floating image in a garden, or on toast. People love to hear that sort of prophesy, the stuff of Jonah and pious superstition. It wasn’t that way for Amos.

Amos wasn’t in that game. Amos was there to warn. Amos says that he is God’s spokesperson. He was a messenger prophet, entrusted with an authoritative message —“ and committed to delivering it.

So if we were to put down the charcoal lighter, the matches, and the Bud, to follow God’s call we would likely have little in the way of a game plan, a travel itinerary, and no more than the ability to tell it like it is; to speak an authoritative message, certainly no message of doom.

What did Amos talk about?

Amos didn’t focus on doom. He was there to talk about things as they are. He told the people, and especially the rulers, that actions have consequences, that God requires justice, and that a covenant people should live a covenant lifestyle if they hope for covenant blessings.

Amos confronts Amaziah and would not compromise his message even in front of the power of the priest who represented the king and state. Amaziah wants Amos out, and if he can’t get rid of him he wants Amos to moderate his authoritative message. Moderating an authoritative message doesn’t make it very authoritative, does it?

Where do we get the authoritative message?

Amos’ message lives on in the fullness of the Gospel. Actions have consequences, God requires justice, and a covenant people should live a covenant lifestyle if they hope for covenant blessings.

Putting down the charcoal lighter, the matches, and the Bud, and following God’s call should be easy for us. We don’t need to foretell the future or proclaim a message of gloom and doom. We are fully equipped to do as Jesus asks (Matthew 11:29):

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

That doesn’t mean that we put down the Bud and put our feet up to rest, but that Jesus’ work, the proclamation and lifestyle of the authoritative message of the Gospel, is where we will find fulfillment.

Our authoritative message is the Gospel, the words of Jesus in the Beatitudes, all that He said and did, and ultimately in His example of complete self giving. That’s the game plan.

They went off:

Today we see Jesus sending the disciples off two-by-two. They kept it simple: a tunic, walking stick, sandals.

So they went off and preached repentance.

We too must go.

We are called:

Paul makes it clear. I opened with Paul’s words to the Ephesians:

In all wisdom and insight, he has made known to us
the mystery of his will in accord with his favor
that he set forth in him as a plan for the fullness of times

God set out the plan. There is no mystery, no secret formula, nothing unknown or hidden. Christians are people who build their house on a hill and put their lamps on lamp stands, for all to see. Jesus gave us the entire message and we are called to make it known. We do not need and cannot put our faith in floating apparitions and visions in apartment block windows. We have the authoritative message of the Gospel —“ easy to speak, simple to hear, open to all.

As I said: Jesus’ work, the proclamation and lifestyle of the authoritative message of the Gospel, is where we will find fulfillment.

The authoritative message isn’t prophesying nor is it a telling of oracles so we can hear what we want, so we can interpret as we please. Rather it is the clear truth and path to salvation. Certainly it is hard sometimes. Certainly walking away from the nice charcoal fire with the thick juicy steaks on top and the cold Bud to follow Jesus’ call isn’t convenient, but following God’s call, that’s heaven.

I left one line off of Paul’s message to the Ephesians. The wisdom and insight we have in the authoritative message of the Gospel, the mystery that has been made plain, is:

to sum up all things in Christ, in heaven and on earth.

We are to warn, to be God’s spokespeople, to be messengers of the authoritative Gospel. Doing that is no burden, and heaven is worth fourteen Clydesdales and a whole wagon full of Buds. Our Christian task, our truth says that we are to bring everything and everyone together in Christ Jesus. Let nothing stand in our way in summing all things up in Him. Then we can say with St. Paul (Romans 8:38-39):

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Here’s our call: Put down the charcoal lighter, the matches, and the Bud. Pray, take action, and give the wortd the authoritative message —“ come to the Lord and Savior of the world, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Christian Witness, ,

Going to Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, KFC, or Long John Silver’s? Support YUM Brands Workers

Please help secure justice for workers who have been fired from YUM Brands fast food restaurants throughout the Midwest.

More than 100 workers in the greater Chicago area have been fired by Pizza Hut, purportedly based on SSA no-match letters. All of these workers have been told by Pizza Hut management to re-verify their eligibility for employment, or they would be fired. Many have worked at Pizza Hut for more than a decade.

These firings could signal that thousands of YUM Brands workers across the country are in jeopardy of losing their jobs.

Deliver a message to your local YUM Brands restaurant that their employees deserve to be treated with dignity and respect and the company needs to stop the unjust firings now!

Here’s what you can do:

  • Bring a group of concerned people to deliver this flyer [pdf] or a personal message to a local YUM Brands restaurant.
  • Call Pizza Hut President Scott Bergren at (972) 338-7700 and express concern and disappointment about Pizza Hut’s campaign against Latino workers.
  • Send a letter to: Scott Bergren, President and Chief Concept Officer, Pizza Hut, Inc., 14841 N. Dallas Parkway, Dallas, TX, 75254.
  • Talk to the management at a local Pizza Hut and convey the same message of concern and disappointment with the company’s treatment of long-time, loyal employees.

For more information, contact the Workers’ Rights Center in Madison, Wisconsin (a member of IWJ’s national network of worker centers) or the Chicago Workers’ Collaborative at (773) 655-0815.

Poetry,

July 11 – A woman’s evening prayer from Humorous Verses and Rhymes

Our Father, who art in heaven
I have a great request for you today
Give me a man who is rich
With a Ferrari – purchased for the cash, not on credit
A large apartment, preferably a villa
He will always listen to me, and for more than a moment
He will satisfy me, and make it last
He will make me breakfast – not only on Saturday’s
Watch romances, buy jewelry
Throughout my life he will never get drunk
He will never want to see his mother
He will give me money – and he will pay the taxes
He will have no friends – but I will
He will have numerous accounts – in banks everywhere
Golden credit cards, an uncountable number of checks
Grant this onto me – so to increase my faith

Translation by Dcn. Jim

iStock_000004121392XSmall

Ojcze nasz, który jesteś w niebie
Mam taką prośbę wielką dziś do Ciebie
Daj mi faceta i ma być bogaty
Ma mieć Ferrari – za cash nie na raty
Duze mieszkanie, a najlepiej willę
Ma mnie wciąż słuchać, nie tylko przez w chwilę
Ma mnie zadowalać kiedy mam ochotę
Śniadanie mi robić – nie tylko w sobotę
Oglądać romansy, biżuterię kupić
W życiu mym nie będzie mogł się nigdy upić
Nie chce nigdy widzieć jego własnej matki
Ja wydaję kasę – on płaci podatki
On nie ma kolegów – ja mam koleżanki
Kont ma mieć on wiele – okoliczne banki
Złotych kart bez liku, czeków co nie miara
Jak mi to załatwisz – wzrośnie moja wiara

Poland - Polish - Polonia, , , ,

Polish Festival in Toledo, Ohio

From the Toledo Free Press: Fairs and festivals calendar

Lagrange Street Polish Festival: Toledo’s Polish Village will celebrate its heritage with polka music and dance contest, food, rides and games, and arts and craft vendors. 5p.m. to 11:00p.m. July 10, Noon-11p.m. July 11, and noon-7p.m. July 12, Polish Village, Lagrange Street, between Central Avenue and Mettler Street. $1-$3. (419) 255-8406.

LifeStream

Daily Digest for July 10th

twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: Daily Digest for June 28th http://bit.ly/3lasvH [#]
lastfm (feed #3)
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: What is Unity http://bit.ly/GK78O [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: June 28 – Idyll by Szymon Zimorowic http://bit.ly/dz7gq [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: June 29 – From the Pastoral of Damet and Myrtil by Jan Gawiński http://bit.ly/10DhrS [#]
lastfm (feed #3)
Listened to 5 songs.
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: June 30 – From the Fairy Tales and Parables of Ignacy Krasicki http://bit.ly/tBo3z [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: Blogging will be limited – Jedziemy na wakacje http://bit.ly/IbMl6 [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: July 1 – The First Dream, A Wife by Tomasz Kajetan Węgierski http://bit.ly/9XPxZ [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: July 2 – Solitude by Leopold Staff http://bit.ly/152bZx [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: July 3 – Love is an excellent thing by Thomas í  Kempis http://bit.ly/MVTVm [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: July 4 – United States by Julian Ursyn Niemcewicz http://bit.ly/Uf3We [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: Górale znają odpowiedź… (The mountaineer knows the answer…) http://bit.ly/16Abfv [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: July 5 – O Joy! by Władysław Broniewski http://bit.ly/16AWnO [#]
twitter (feed #4)
Getting the grill going and frying up peppers and onions. Italian sausage fest for me. Hamburgers and dogs for the family. [#]
twitter (feed #4)
Enjoyed the week at Hampton Beach/Kittery/Salem. Great family vacation. [#]
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Nibbling on cherries and blueberries as I cook. [#]
twitter (feed #4)
has joined MySpace! [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: Coffee, Kawa, Café http://bit.ly/VhzeX [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: Fourteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time – B http://bit.ly/kklZ4 [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: July 6 – The Judge’s Breakfast from Pan Tadeusz, Book II, by Adam Mickiewicz http://bit.ly/mdTeN [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: July 7 – Dream of Victory by Ryszard Riedel http://bit.ly/8Fv2a [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: The theological economist http://bit.ly/9NeMk [#]
lastfm (feed #3)
Listened to 5 songs.
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: July 8 – Busy with many jobs by Tadeusz Różewicz http://bit.ly/49yXA [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: July 9 – At the Vegtable Stall by Jan Brzechwa http://bit.ly/Vb1hD [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!! http://bit.ly/DA50u [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: Poles "are distancing themselves from systematic religious practices…" http://bit.ly/rISr3 [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: Pennsylvania politics http://bit.ly/hdNOZ [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: An assessment of arts education http://bit.ly/7qp55 [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: Attention clergy: Important IRS tax information http://bit.ly/16lwJc [#]
twitter (feed #4)
New blog post: July 10 – Why does the pained pickle never sing by Konstanty Ildefons Gałczyński http://bit.ly/2Yyhyr [#]
Poetry

July 10 – Why does the pained pickle never sing by Konstanty Ildefons Gałczyński

The question that our title
has cast in deathless bronze
is painful yet so vital,
we owe it a response.

If our little green friend
won’t sing, croon, lilt or chant,
it’s clear that, Heaven forfend,
it most probably can’t.

But what if evil stars
trample its throat? If divine
airs die in air-tight jars,
engulfed by teary brine?

Meanwhile, time flies, alas
first sunshine, then rains trickle,
and still we callously pass
by many a pained pickle.

Translation by S. Barańczak and C. Cavanagh

165180

Dlaczego ogórek nie śpiewa

Pytanie to, w tytule
postawione tak śmiało,
choćby z największym bólem
rozwiązać by należało.

Jeśli ogórek nie śpiewa,
i to o każdej porze,
to widać z woli nieba
prawdopodobnie nie może.

Lecz jeśli pragnie? Gorąco!
Jak dotąd nikt. Jak skowronek.
Jeżeli w słoju nocą
łzy przelewa zielone?

Mijają lata i zimy,
raz słoneczko, raz chmurka;
a my obojętnie przechodzimy
koło niejednego ogórka.

PNCC,

Attention clergy: Important IRS tax information

The Internal Revenue Service has published its auditing guide for clergy. The guide provides tons of useful information as to how the IRS will treat various items that appear (or should appear) on a clergy member’s tax return. The Minister Audit Technique Guide begins:

Under the Internal Revenue Code of 1986, as amended, (hereinafter referred to as ‘IRC’), ministers are accorded some unique tax benefits for income, social security and Medicare taxes, which present several potential examination issues on ministers’ tax returns in addition to income and expenses issues found in most examinations.

The Table of Contents includes an Overview Of Issues; Who Qualifies For Special Tax Treatment As A Minister; Income To Be Reported; Gift or Compensation for Services; The Parsonage Allowance; Retired Ministers; Members of Religious Orders and Vow of Poverty; Determination of Deductible Expenses Where Some Income is Tax Exempt; Self-Employment Tax: Exemption; Employee versus Independent Contractor and more.

Clergy and their tax advisors should familiarize themselves with the audit technique guide and IRS Publication 517, Social Security and Other Information for Members of the Clergy and Religious Workers.