From PC World: 10 Ways Microsoft’s Retail Stores Will Differ From Apple Stores

Microsoft announced plans to open retail stores, hoping to boost visibility of many of its products and its brand. The move seems to be an effort to mimic the success that Apple has had with its retail stores. The news is just too tempting not to have some fun with. So here are some yet-to-be-officially-revealed details about the Microsoft stores.

1) Instead of Apple’s sheer walls of glass, Microsoft’s stores will have brushed steel walls dotted with holes — reminiscent of Windows security.

2) The store will have six different entrances: Starter, Basic, Premium, Professional, Enterprise, and Ultimate. While all six doors will lead into the same store, the Ultimate door requires a fee of $100 for no apparent reason.

3) Instead of a “Genius Bar” (as Apple provides) Microsoft will offer an Excuse Bar. It will be staffed by Microsofties trained in the art of evading questions, directing you to complicated and obscure fixes, and explaining it’s a problem with the hardware — not a software bug.

4) The Windows Genuine Advantage team will run storefront security, assuming everybody is a thief until they can prove otherwise.

5) Store hours are undetermined. At any given time the store mysteriously shuts down instantaneously for no apparent reason. (No word yet on what happens to customers inside)…

One person left the following comment on this tongue-in-cheek post:

You have to feel sorry for Apple fanboys that this is how they waste their lives away proving to the entire world how jealous they are of Microsoft. You could have just bought a real PC to begin with and then you would have a life.

As the person in my home responsible for fixing stuff, this is exactly the reason we ditched Microsoft products. I had no life. I was constantly fixing, installing updates, downloading anti-virus and firewall software that slowed the machines to a crawl. Wasted days and wasted nights. I wanted to have a life, a real life, so we switched to Mac — bought three of them. Plugged them in — and they worked, right out of the box, painless. We now have a life. The two left-over boxes? They are running Linux – Ubuntu. Again, no worries. Ahhh, life…